Prepare the Burn Ointment

Go out there and mop down some hippos for some all-natural burn ointment because you’re going to need it after a trip down burning stupid lane.

You all know that I’m just a HUGE fan of Eric Hovind. The same way I’m a fan of being put into a porta potty full of bees.

So Eric’s got his own blog where you can go and tell him what a fool he is – IN PERSON! He also has a heart-breaking twitter feed where he asks you to come eat lunch with him! Which, if he were in Jackson, I would be doing RIGHT NOW.

But I may not have to go far! Thanks to his blog I found a map of crazy creationist sites. REAL sites, not websites.

The nearest is Dr. Dino’s Dinosaur Adventure Land! Which boasts itself as a “science museum AND theme park.” There’s adventure, there are rides that teach “science AND spiritual lessons” and apparently, according to the video, there’s… ziplines. Shit yeah.

My favorite quote:

Be prepared to be challenged to think and to follow the Lord in the way God the Creator has planned for you.

That’s right. Be prepared to take the mind-bending challenge of doing exactly what you’re told.

Another nearby atrocity – uh, I mean, museum, is The Wyatt Museum in Tennessee. Suggested donation is ten dollars, but hey – that’s just a suggestion, right?

And if we feel like making a slightly longer trek, we could go to Creation Expeditions.

These fellows are a bit odd. They dig up dinosaur fossils and clean them off, then claim that they’re part of the bible, and only 6 thousand years old. They have one of the few complete allosaur skulls in existence, and they call it “the hand of god.”

There’s a brief run-down on who they are here. The quote that seals the deal when you’re wondering what kind of “science” these guys are up to?

“We know who the creator is,” said Pete DeRosa, brushing dust off the massive skull. “It’s the God of the Bible. It’s Jesus Christ. It’s our Lord. We won’t find anything contrary to that.”

Not even a dinosaur skull.

So do you guys (and gals) think we should be taking a creationist field trip? I need to amuse myself.

Well, if you want to practice on some low-hanging fruit carried by a slow-moving target, our dear friend Justin has put up a website in the Ray Comfort theme, claiming to be “all about” atheism. Of course, there’s no chance for intellectual dishonesty here, right?

Comments are allowed, so please remind them that they do not inhabit the real world.

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